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Thursday, November 12, 2009

You Call This Wisdom?

For a playwright, as for any artist, life should be about the journey. If your focus is always the money story, you might get rich and you might not. If your focus is the ride through life and art, you’ll always be exactly where you should be. This lesson comes to some easily and to some it is a struggle to comprehend.

PLAYWRIGHT: Why am I broke? Why ain’t I rich?

REALIST: Because you’re a playwright and not a scumbag Wall Street banker.

SELF HELP GURU: Think positive. Focus on success.

PLAYWRIGHT and REALIST (in unison): Go fuck yourself!

If you want to think positive, play music. That way you’ll be thinking about the music. The rest is bullshit.

If you think you can’t play music you probably can and are responding to some childhood episode. That’s okay -- sing.

If you’re not living on the edge, you’re probably taking up too much space.

If you’re behind in your credit card payments and you still have a land line, cancel the land line and don’t answer 800 calls on your mobile phone. You’ll save $1,000 a year on the land line. In a year the usurers will offer to settle for 20 – 25 cents on the dollar. You can pay everything off then if things are better, or just continue to ignore the calls. Eventually they will stop. I’m right. That’s why I’m not a financial guru.

Your credit rating is your report card as a slave to the corporations. During slavery, the difficult, rebellious slaves got shipped to Jamaica. There’s good weed and rum in Jamaica and it’s always warm there. A good credit rating means more debt and more payments. Which you would rather have? Weed, rum and sunshine? Or more debt?

If you’re looking for sympathy, you’ll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.

Fight back. Cook the wealthy. (Not really – you’ll probably get the gout.)

Every guy who wears a hat isn’t bald. A baseball cap is not a hat but the same probably holds true.

About 10 years ago I was at a friend’s loft playing guitar and there was this young guy hanging out and he said “I play guitar in a punk band.”
I replied “Lots of 3 chord songs, right?”
He said: “Oh, if I knew 3 chords, they’d think I was a genius.” Musicians will chuckle at this.

In the future all of us, and everything about our lifestyles, will be considered primitive.

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